It smells so sweet outside today. The sun smiles down I'm in the shade. I sit and think about all my friends and how good they are. But when today is yesterday, I know that things won't stay the same. But I know that the memories won't go far. Round and round the world will turn. Lessons taught and lessons learned. Jesus gets us through the good and bad times. And let's us know that everything will be just fine. A year's passed since I wrote this song. A lot's gone right a lot's gone wrong. But I know that Jesus has been there right by my side. And I see the sun still shines. It shines outside and in my life, and I know that everything is gonna be just fine.

~"Everything Will Be" by Relient K

(hey Dweezil, the other two guys are Brian and Steve)

That song has been in my head all day. I would listen to it, but someone has had my Relient K cd since December. *coughJoshcough* Hence, I could not listen to it. But the words are pretty.

I will be 6 years old in Christ on Thursday. My life has been so changed in those 6 years. The Lord has blessed me in ways I've not even noticed until now, and it's just so excitng to think that He will continue to do so exponentially. Not that my life has been sunshine and rainbows all the time, but God gets me through the high times and the hard times. And I'm just so grateful that God sees me as worthy of His love. I don't deserve to be forgiven when I repeatedly make the same mistakes. When I think of myself related to God, I see myself as a little 4 year old, and God is this amazingly patient Daddy. I constantly screw up, and He just draws me into His arms and says, "now Shannon, you know that was wrong." And I say, "Daddy, I'm so sorry. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway and now I have problems and guilt, and blood all over my hands." And the Lord just smiles and says, "you have MY blood on your hands, and by this you are forgiven of your sins." And He holds me close to Him where I am sheltered, and leads me through what I don't understand.

I wrote this to my Lord about a year and a half ago -

How can you see me
as worthy of love,
when I don't even try?
I ignore you,
and push you out of
my life.
How I backslide
and abuse your name.
And I always vow to
change,
and I make an abrupt apology.
Not that I don't fully regret
these cold things I do to you.
Yet I continue in my cycle,
living for you only for
brief, shining moments.
Then I ignore you again.
You're in the back of
my mind,
when you deserve the foreground.
And somehow,
you still perceive me as
yours.
You love me unconditonally,
and continue giving
me gifts.
Thank you for this
millionth of second chances.
I pledge undying belief,
reliance, and love.
I ask forgiveness for
my acts.
And I live knowing that
you died for me,
and rose to prove your
worthiness to be praised.
I vow to follow your plan,
that I might see
your glory.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm closer to God now than I was when I wrote that. He reminds me to pray, to ask for what I need, to repent of my sins. And sometimes I still backslide, but God brings me back to Him before I hurt myself. I can never fall away from His love. From the love of my Daddy. And I'll get closer every day; my old life will fall away from me and I won't even miss it. Cuz God has a plan for me. And I'm ready to get out there and fulfill it.

the night is nearly over † the day is almost here